What is cross talk?

Cross Talk is conversation between individuals during sharing or speaking time. This includes: Offering advice, directly speaking to an individual member instead of the group, or questioning or interrupting whoever is speaking.

Cross Talk is not referring to someone’s share if you are moved by it or if it reminds you of your own experience. Nor is sharing your own experience in response to a share. We try to avoid offering unsolicited advice or instruction. Therefore, many meetings discourage Cross Talk.

Specific Examples of Cross Talk:
A member shares, “I drank alcohol and I don’t know whether or not to start my day count over.” The next share cross talks, “You need to start your day count over or you are going out.”

A member shares, “…and then I went to rehab and it changed my life…” Another share asks, “Excuse me, can you tell me where you went? I need a recommendation.”

Examples which are not Cross Talk:
Referring to the content of a share: A member shares, “I drank alcohol and I don’t know whether or not to start my day count over.” The next share says, “When I was counting days, I drank some a beer. My sponsor and I fought about it. I started my day count over, because I didn’t want to question it in my own mind.”

Another example: John D. shares, “I am having a really hard time not picking up.” Another shares, “It was good for me to hear John. It helps me to know other people feel like I do.” That is not Cross Talk.

Since NYCMA doesn’t make any rules for meetings, each group is autonomous and decides for itself how to address Cross Talk, if it occurs. If a group does not allow Cross Talk, the chair can intervene. The chair can advise the member that we would like to hear about the member’s own experience and specific questions can be asked after the meeting.

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